I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
