I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
