well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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