What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Randomize
