There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize