wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
