So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
