just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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