He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
