Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
