I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
