Whats the glycemic index on semen?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My feet surprised me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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