My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
