U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
