on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
