tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
