When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
