i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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