just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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