You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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