I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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