i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just found puke in my bra..
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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