I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
