In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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