is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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