so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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