pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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