New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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