he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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