i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
