just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize