Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
