# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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