I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
