Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
