thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
