I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
