Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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