Just fell off a train. Bad.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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