i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you would pick up someone in the library
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
