I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Two words: blizzard sex
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
