I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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