I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
me + whiskey = a bad person
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
