Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
