Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
