You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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