I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
