They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
