im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
