Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
