I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
