i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
