I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
