His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
