i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
