I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
