If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. š
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just made the most āsingle lifeā Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Iām glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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