im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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