Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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