you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
