I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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