hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
