Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
