yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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