we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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