Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
