So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Boobs speak an international language.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
