She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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