We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
there is puke in my bra ... again
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
