I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize