how can u be prego again
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
