dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize