Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We were destined to go to rehab together
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
