I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
