I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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