I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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